i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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