just tell him i said nine months
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize