so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
