bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
