my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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