Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
