pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm too high and old for this...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize