I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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