Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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