Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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