ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
