oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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