my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
