i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
