i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
