I'm going to jail i love you
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You need a sexual gate keeper
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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