Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
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Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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