she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My breasts were aching with rage.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
