And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
