I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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