Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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