soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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