walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
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You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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