I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize