STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
