The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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