so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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