six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
