I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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