I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
