We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
