if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize