The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
