hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
