Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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