i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize