I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
