is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
