I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
