Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
