Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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