Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
