If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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