I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I won the penis lottery.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
