I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
