You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
