What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
