his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
