You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
