I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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