i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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