hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
