O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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