I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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