We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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