Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize