yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
